Jesus and Skunky Beer

Today I am taking a Sabbath - the second one in as many weeks which has been a wonderful thing to reintroduce into my life. I find that for an introvert Sabbaths can be a critical place to recharge (although I'm also learning that it isn't helpful to come into a Sabbath wasted).

So I'm at this place in my life where I'm 25, I'm in a brand new position, in a new city, and everything feel really fragile. It doesn't help that all my friends are getting married or dating someone at this point, and I'm still sitting here single trying to convince myself that it's okay (and at times, it really is okay!). But when there are so many new things in my life, it is easy to become OCD on the things that I think will help (such as a girlfriend, a new bike, exercise, more money, being funded), that the world throws at me all shining and glimmering like the best-wrapped Christmas present.

Tonight though, God spoke to me about those things through a bottle of beer - a large bottle actually - an Imperial pint. Now, I've been saving this beer since last Christmas. It is bottled up in Canada in a special way such that the flavor actually improves with age - some monks invented the method way back. So I thought I would hang onto it until an appropriate time. Today I was really craving a beer and it's my Sabbath so I popped this baby open. I had cooked myself a delicious meal of chicken and zucchini, with some spinach on this side. I poured myself a glass and it smelled wonderful! Rich flavors, a thick creamy head, dark color. But as I took a swig, my stomach turned over! I don't know what it was but this beer is so sweet (almost like root beer), and has such an odd array of flavors, I couldn't drink it! There is almost no flavor of hops. I couldn't even drink half a pint. I kept trying, thinking that I was wrong, but no! I almost lost my dinner it was so sickly sweet tasting. So most of the bottle is sitting in my fridge - maybe Jon will like it but I doubt it.

So as I was sitting there, horribly upset about saving this beer for so long and how awful it was, Jesus spoke to me. This beer, in it's beautiful corked bottle, is like my desire for all of these things that I think will make my life better, happier, more joyful, etc. I tell myself to hold out for them, that someday it will be worth it - but will it? What happens if I pop that cork and it's as awful as the beer? It doesn't matter how pretty the bottle looks on the outside, I have no clue what's actually inside. This is where the title of my blog becomes pertinent - all that matters is whether I can make myself available to Jesus and what He has for me - Jesus, Hineni. I'm learning to trust that Jesus never serves skunky beer.