I cried today. A lot. It's been a long time since tears came out of these eyes and kind of like a car that's been sitting for a while, it was a start/stop/start kind of thing until the floodgates of my heart finally creaked their way open and let all the hurt, the pain, the question flood out in a torrent.
It's good to cry. I read something Augustine said that caught my attention: I let the tears flow as freely as I could, making of them a pillow for my heart; on them it rested. Crying in the presence of God is a litmus test for me of the softness of my heart - did I mention it's been a LONG time since I've cried? I honestly don't remember crying since coming to Eugene. What caused it today? I don't really know. I was reading about God's love and I just got filled up with this longing to know His love and to tell Him that I love Him - no fancy words, no fancy music, just me with my Daddy. I want to start more days sitting with Him like this. As I experience His love and mercy, I find that all I want is what He wants for me. It's good to cry.
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